It's been a while since I have updated this portion of my blog! I thought I would start off with some life updates and then finally address the issue with why I left my Facebook Group, Beauty and Beyond. Click the Read More button for the details!
This is going to be a long one so, hope your ready! Haha
I haven't updated this in a while because I have been increasingly busy with my YouTube channel and work! Its amazing and nerve wracking all at the same time! I have recently been emailed by Estee Edit and IT Cosmetics and they would like to work together and it is so exciting for me! Estee Edit said my recent makeup looks caught their eyes and I thought that was amazing that my small channel caught their eyes! I am also working with a couple companies as their ambassador and making their PR videos for them, on top of my regular 5-6 videos a week! So, it has been a whirl wind that has kept me from being able to do other things!
Now, there has been a lot of recent drama where I am concerned and honestly,I want to put it to bed because 1. I am sick of being contacted about it and 2. Even though I have done a lot to take myself OUT of these situations, certain people will not STOP spreading lies and rumors and involving me. So, I would like to put this all to bed here and now and never speak of it again.
As most of you know that are involved in the YouTube Beauty Community, there are multiple gossip sites where people with no life and too much time, spend their days talking trash about YouTube creators. Now, since most of us who work regularly online know that being online is basically our life and we spend most of days on here so, a lot of these people on these sites are also YouTube creators talking trash about fellow creators. It is sad and pathetic but honestly, when adults have the choice to be anonymous and immature, they will choose to do so. Especially when their life is online and obviously there is not enough drama in their personal life. Some people crave drama in their life or NEED to bring down others in order to be able to sleep better and feel better about themselves.
I first caught these sad sad peoples eyes because I was sticking up for a fellow creator on her trash thread. They were body shaming here and just saying the worst things possible even AGAINST the sites rules but, nothing was done. That made these sad people turn their eyes towards me and start a trash thread on me. At first I tried to reason with these people and defend myself but, that just made them label me as negative and aggressive. Logical right? You will notice with all of this that these people make ZERO logic constantly. (Yes, im talking about you. I know your reading this). I then realized you can not reason with people like that. Most of them are ill mentally or have disorders and NEED this kind of drama and gossip to feel better about themselves and no matter if what they say is right or wrong, it does not matter. Its the act of bringing down others and even talking YOURSELF up to "prove" your better than the person your bringing down that gets these people off daily. Now, I am not downing mental disorders or illnesses because I too, suffer from them. Yet, I do not do these things and I suffer from MULTIPLE illnesses (not just anxiety, thanks). One specific person took things too far and exposed personal pics and information and my thread was removed for that and other reasons I will leave unknown just to eat at these people because they have no clue LMAO.
These people made my thread again and once again, took things too far and continue to do daily. This time however, they decided to start hacking my friends accounts and IMing my friends "warning" them against me and blaming me for what THEY were doing at a desperate attempt at making me lose my friends and everything else. It went from being SAD SAD people on a SAD website to bringing it on all my social medias and bullying and harassing me. They made fake Twitter accounts bashing me and laughing at me, they make videos lying and photo shopping messages to try to make me look bad, they take pictures off my private accounts to pick on my children, they take links from private review sites to pick on me and my husband and so much more. They lie about things I do and say to try to prove I am a liar when I can debunk or prove different for literally everything they say yet, i am not allowed to defend myself...OF COURSE.
I then found out that a few of them were in my Facebook group Beauty and Beyond taking screen shots of conversations and of course, twisting them to be gossip worthy which, is the norm for these people. The members of my group started to feel unsafe and did not want to post because of this. I then found out a month later that there were also fellow members and creators involved in this debacle that claimed to be my friends. It got to the point where I could not trust anyone and the drama was becoming so ridiculous that I decided to leave my Facebook group and move on so the members in there felt safe and that group could yet again be the amazing group for people that it was made for. I had proof of all the conversations going on between people and what they were saying and that was all I needed to know it was time to move on. I worked very hard on that group for over a year and very hard for the people in it. Spending more time on them than my own channel and to find out that a bunch of them were doing the same things these sad people on that sad site were doing, made me sick and I instantly left. Now, this also stemmed from an app called BLAB where we would go and hangout at night and I got roped into being blamed for other members talking badly about people. Which, i had nothing to do with but, got roped in to and blamed anyway. It all just became way too much bullshit so, I decided to leave the group, and stop talking to people on a personal level and I have to say, I has been much better since! Up until recently.
I have been doing me and sticking to myself for about a month now yet, people will just not have that. People keep contacting me with screen shots of things being done on this sad site or asking me what happened or even trying to get me back into BLAB sessions when they know what happened. People are warning me about other people hosting Google Hangouts talking trash about me and so much more. I need you to all realize that I do not care what these people are doing. I do not care what those sad people on that sad site say, only what they do as they like to expose my personal information or pictures constantly. They claim im a horrible mother for putting my child in her play coat because she was outside in the rain with her cousin and I did not want her to get her new coat dirty. They claim I gave my child SLEEPING PILLS when it was melatonin that her DOCTOR said was okay to give her because she has ADHD and is on adderall and can not sleep well. They claim we are scammers because you have to have a notary sign a title in order to sell it when that is COMPLETELY untrue and you just need to sign the back of the title and hand it to the person. They claim things are sponsored by me when they are NOT. They like to body shame me and speak about or try to DIAGNOSE my mental illnesses which are against the site rules. They say I make barely any money on my channel to consider it a job when they have NO clue what i do outside of youtube or on my channel that makes me a good amount of money. They say my makeup looks are shit yet, Estee Edit wants to work with me. I mean, i could literally go on for hours here and you'll see a repeating factor here. They make ZERO logic and its things NO ONE CARES ABOUT. Things that I can easily prove are lies and its all a huge waste of my time. The fact that I have to constantly make sure they are not exposing private information because the owner and admins dont give a shit, is torture enough.
There is also an ex friend of mine, Stacie Gilbert, who has decided to jump on their bandwagon and expose things I showed her or said to her in confidence while we were friends. I am honestly not worried about this because I wouldnt say or show things online ever if I minded them being "exposed". We had an inside joke that my husband took part in and they think I disrespected my husband and on and on and on about the picture that was in question. NO PEOPLE. He knew then and knows now and we LAUGH our asses off about it. Please hear me when I say, I am an open book. Being an open book may bring me a lot of criticism and haters and people to judge me but, the one thing I will always be is honest and you cant take that from me. The ONLY thing you can do is hide on a site that protects you and talk shit because your too much of a pussy to do anything else or show your true face to be judged as well. The fact that Stacie admits who she is and still continues to go on there talking trash should show all of you who she REALLY is and her true colors. She is a sick individual and I would stay far away from her because you obviously can see what she does to people who WERE her friends. I have never once disclosed information she told me or that I have on her or even conversations between us that damn her pretty badly. Not once and I never would because I am above that type of petty behavior. Yet, I am the drama filled one, correct?
My point being here is that I am done being blamed for others actions. I am done being accused of things I am not doing. I am above this and honestly BETTER than the people doing this. You lower YOURSELF to the point of making me better than you. Nothing else does that except for you. I do not care what you look like, what you drive, how much money you have and so on to judge you. I care about your personality and how you treat others to judge you and not a single person who goes on there is a good person. Other wise, they wouldnt be there to begin with. The fact that they are even on that site doing and saying what they are, makes them irrelevant and beneath me. They claim to hate me, yet I would NEVER spend THAT much time talking about someone I disliked. Let alone watch all of their videos every single day or watch their social medias like a hawk daily for GOSSIP. Think about that my friends. Think about what type of person it takes to do those types of things daily. What type of person would speak about someones children or husband or their mental illnesses. Who would care enough about a person they supposedly hate to THAT point? Your fooling no one peeps. NO ONE. I need to get a "real job" because I make YouTube videos? YOU need to obviously do the same because you do even worse by making fun of those said people who need a "real job". At least we are doing SOMETHING constructive with our time. Trying to help others and make friendships and do something we love. We are not out bullying and picking on YouTubers no one knows about for kicks. You seriously need to think about that before you sit there behind your computer screen or phone giggling because you think you pulled one over on me because sweetie....the joke is on all of you. We do not need to know who you truly are to judge you. We already know just by your actions that we are better and above you. So while you sit there bitching and complaining and whining about YouTubers on a site that cant even stay online for more than an hour, Ill be working on my channel and growing my channel and making money and being happy with my family and friends that I do have. Bottom line.
For the other thing that i posted about on my beauty FB page about bullying. That does NOT have anything to do with the sad people on that sad site. There is someone else whos been stalking me for over a year now and we believe she has now been coming to our home and messing with our vehicle, putting razor blades in my childs water table, and sticking knives around the outside of our home since she lives about 40 minutes from me. She is also online and used to be a creator and THAT is what i was referring to when I spoke about bullying and harassment online and I CAN legally do something about that. Think before you type. You look like an idiot even more making up your own lies about what I say when I'm 100% willing to speak the truth any time, any where.
I hope this clears some things up for a lot of you. Just because I speak my mind, does not make me full of drama. I will always speak up and speak out against bullying and people like that doing those things. People staying quiet is why these things continue. I will always defend myself and it does not make me a bad person for doing so. I am a fighter and I will never leave YouTube or social media because people do not like me. Get in line, your not the only ones. People do not like my bluntness but, its usually the liars and people who have something to hide that don't like me for it. Think about that.
Thank you to my best friend, Dawn. You have always publicly and privately stuck up for me and been there 100% of the time. Even when others hid and stayed quiet while horrible things were being done to me. I will never forget everything you have done for me with helping me when my family was down and always being there as a shoulder to cry on and ear to listen. I love you my friend.
If you have questions about this. Comment or write me and ask. I have nothing to hide.
I am a 31 year old, stay at home mother with a Beauty Channel on YouTube. I will never be "proper" or professional on Youtube so sometimes, I need to vent!